


Meet the Parents

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 06:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1635578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kagami meets Kuroko's parents for the first time to ask for their blessing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet the Parents

Kagami didn’t think there was any shame in admitting that he was, in fact, scared shitless. His palms were clammy with sweat which stopped him from grabbing Kuroko’s hand in his for comfort which, in turn, made him even more nervous and sweaty. By the time they reached Kuroko’s home he was a shaking, drenched mess dangerously close to going into a cardiac arrest.

If Kuroko tried being comforting and reassuring, he sure as hell wasn’t showing it. Taiga would go as far as to say the bastard was  _enjoying_  his current state. He said as much, or rather stammered out through clenched teeth, as Kuroko reached for the door handle.

“Impossible, Kagami-kun.”

Kuroko was definitely enjoying that, if the flat tone of his voice was anything to go by – and they knew each other long enough for Kagami to be able to recognize and interpret different levels of flatness. He resisted the urge to crush Kuroko’s smug head in his hand and opted for wiping his sweaty palm on the small back in front of him. Kuroko clicked his tongue irritatedly, shooting Taiga a scornful look over his shoulder before entering his apartment which, strangely, seemed to calm Kagami down a bit.

“Sorry for intruding,” he muttered, just like Kuroko told him to, and slowly shimmied out of his shoes.

“Can I take your jacket?”

Taiga jumped up with a undignified shout, flailing his hands so violently he almost knocked a picture hanging on the wall down. Once his breathing returned to normal, he looked down to see the source of the startling voice: Kuroko’s mother. She was a female, slightly taller, older version of Kuroko with better hair and – which was already evident in the span of seconds – a variety of  _facial expressions._

“Oh my, I’m sorry!” cooed the woman in a amused tone. “I didn’t mean to startle you! Didn’t you hear me greeting you, boys? Oh, Tetsuya always says I need to raise my voice more, but I keep forgetting… I’m so embarrassed… Are you alright, Kagami-kun?”

Several thoughts passed through Kagami’s mind at the moment. First of all, he realized that Kuroko must have inherited his invisibility from his mother and it was slightly disturbing and weirdly comforting at the same time. Then, he immediately regretted it wasn’t her sunny disposition that Kuroko took after her, because that would make Taiga’s life so much easier. Kuroko jabbed him in the rib suddenly and, for a second, Kagami was afraid that Kuroko could read his mind, only to realize that he was being prompted to  _speak,_  which was something he clearly forgot to do.

“Ah, yes!” he boomed awkwardly. “I’m s-sorry for reacting like that, I just wasn’t expecting- I’m really sorry!”

He bowed and everything, which was probably a bit too much, but he was overwhelmed and nervous, and Kuroko wasn’t helping  _at all._

“My, my, such a well-mannered boy,” said Mrs. Kuroko gleefully, clapping her hands in delight.

Kuroko let out an amused snort at that comment, and Kagami narrowed his eyes at him in a way that he hoped was conveying “Keep acting like an asshole and I’m gonna ask  _her_  to date me instead.”

Kagami  _was_  a bit in love, to be perfectly honest. All the women in his life had been rather crude and overbearing, which wasn’t a bad thing in itself, but still made Mrs. Kuroko’s gentle demeanor seem almost angelic to Taiga. He could immediately feel himself relax just remembering the sound of her soft laughter. Meanwhile, when Kuroko laughed it sounded like hell’s bells, probably because it was almost always at Kagami’s expense.

“Mother, don’t spoil the idiot,” said Kuroko simply. “Is father home?”

“Oh, Kagami-kun,” said Mrs. Kuroko with a dramatic sigh. “I’m so sorry I hadn’t raised him better, it’s all his father’s fault! Thank you so much for taking such good care of my son.”

“Oh, he takes care of him alright, I assume.”

Kagami gulped at the sound of a soft, male voice that made his blood run cold for some reason. A man of average height stood in the doorway to what Kagami presumed was the kitchen with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed. He was taller than Mr. Kuroko but he definitely felt much smaller in that moment because, clearly, Kuroko inherited  _his_  love of a poker face.

“Hello!” he said, a little too loudly, and immediately wanted to shrink in on himself. “I’m-”

“Kagami Tagia,” finished Mr. Kuroko with a small, gentle smile. “I know. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Forgive me the dramatic introduction, I couldn’t resist pulling a little prank on you. Thank you for always taking care of Tetsuya.”

Taiga nodded dumbly and took the hand Kuroko’s father offered, trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was  _exactly_  like his son, personality-wise; extremely polite, but secretly evil.

“Nice to meet you,” he muttered, to which Mr. Kuroko only nodded.

His wife, however, patted Kagami on the back comfortingly. “Don’t be so nervous, dear! We already feel like we know you! Testuya has told us all about you!”

“That’s why I’m terrified you only invited me to kill me and hide my body in the basement.”

After the initial moment of silence, Kuroko’s mother burst into giggles, fanning herself vehemently, and even her husband cracked a genuine grin. They thought he was joking, but they couldn’t be more wrong and Kuroko’s small smirk only proved that.

“Oh my, handsome  _and_  funny,” drawled Mrs. Kuroko. “Testuya, take Kagami-kun to your room, I’ll call you when the dinner’s ready.”

Kuroko nodded curtly and pulled Taiga by his sleeve to his room. Before he could even process that he was about to see Kuroko’s room for the first time, the door was shut and locked behind him and he was being pushed onto the bed. And before he could process that, he already had a lap full of Kuroko kissing his face all over.

“Oi,” mumbled Kagami into Kuroko’s lips. “Are you trying to make me sit through a dinner with your parents with a boner?!”

“Perhaps,” replied Kuroko undeterred. “I’m just rewarding you for making a good first impression.”

“Seriously, your parents must have even lower standards than you.”

Kuroko bit him on the nose slightly too hard for it to be playful. “Kagami-kun is simply very lovable. End of discussion. More kissing.”

Kuroko did make a compelling argument, but the prospect of actually sitting through a dinner with his parents with a boner was just as  _un_ compelling. He groaned into Kuroko’s throat and gently pushed him off his lap.

“I just don’t want to mess anything up, okay?” he said.

His voice was way too small for his own comfort and he could feel himself blush under Kuroko’s scrutiny.

“Kagami-kun is being unfair. How am I not supposed to reward you when you’re being such a perfect-”

Taiga unceremoniously slapped a hand over Kuroko’s mouth. He really didn’t want that boner and Kuroko was apparently hell-bent on giving him one. He knew he won this round, however, when Kuroko simply sighed into his palm, instead of licking it like he would usually do.

“Fine,” he muttered when Kagami took his hand away. “Then what do you want to do until the dinner?”

Kagami shrugged and let out a sigh of his own. “Just- not have a heart attack? That would be pretty cool thing to do.”

He knew he sounded pretty pathetic, even by his standards, but it was a huge deal to him. He wanted to do everything right, by the book. He wanted for them to  _like_  him and he wanted to have their  _blessing_  to be with Kuroko, as silly as it sounded. He knew how much his parents meant to Kuroko so he wanted to do things right. Kuroko could say they were fine with their relationship all he wanted; Taiga had to do this properly.

He startled slightly when he felt a warm hand on his cheek and looked up into Kuroko’s eyes.

“Kagami-kun,” said Kuroko, biting his lip. “I need to tell you something.”

Kagami inhaled sharply and was just about to start panicking when Kuroko’s mother called them from the kitchen.

“Tell me what?” he blurted out, eyes darting to the door as if they were about to open any second.

“Nothing, just- don’t worry,” said Kuroko, shaking his head.

Kagami clicked his tongue as he got up from the bed. “Jesus, making me worry for no reason. Come on, let’s go, I don’t want to look rude.”

“Kagami-kun  _is_  rude.”

“Not as much as you,” he snapped back.

He was still looking at Kuroko’s smug smirk when he opened the door, so when he turned around and found himself face to face with Kuroko’s mother, he yelped again, causing her to giggle and motion with her hand for them to follow.

The dinner was delicious and he really did try not to appear the glutton he actually was, but it was really hard. Fortunately, Kuroko’s parents were warned about his appetite and he was encouraged to eat all he wanted.

“It makes me happy someone enjoys my cooking so much,” said Mrs. Kuroko with a wistful sigh, before adding with a pout, “Tetsuya eats so little…”

Taiga swallowed nervously. Was it okay to nod in agreement and talk about that one time Kuroko was spending the night and forced Kagami to make more food than he could handle and Taiga had to eat the same thing for three days in a row?

“Kagami-kun also complains when I can’t finish a meal,” confessed Kuroko with a grimace. “Which is utterly ridiculous. I eat enough, wouldn’t you say, father?”

Mr. Kuroko nodded sagely. “It is true that he doesn’t need to eat more. Have you seen his guns?”

“He doesn’t have any!” protested Taiga and Mr. Kuroko simultaneously.

Kagami grinned awkwardly as Kuroko’s mother reached over the table to grab his hand and look at him with gratitude. In the corner of his eye, he could see Kuroko and his father rolling their eyes at each other, which made his grin grow wider.

“You’re such a good friend,” whispered Mrs. Kuroko in awe, patting his hand gently. “We’re so happy, aren’t we, dear?”

Mr. Kuroko nodded again, and Taiga felt himself frown.  _A good friend?_  He glanced at Kuroko, who was pointedly staring into his meal and it made Kagami nervous for some reason. He wiped his hands on his knees and lifted his eyes to Kuroko’s parents.

“Um, I know it’s kind of sudden, but- What I wanted to say is- Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Kuroko, I- Shit- Oh, shit, sorry! I didn’t mean- I mean shi- Uh- Sorry! Oh, wow, I messed up-”

Mrs. Kuroko giggled again. “Oh my, aren’t you nervous. Breathe, honey, it’s okay. What is it that you wanted to say?”

Kagami took a deep breath and glanced at Kuroko again, who still was staring into his plate for some reason. He cleared his throat and shut his eyes before finally blurting out, “Please, give me your blessing to officially date your son!”

Someone gasped, someone dropped a fork, someone whined softly. And Kagami wanted to die. He carefully opened his eyes and saw everyone staring at him with various degrees of shock.

“Could you… repeat what you just said, young man?” asked Mr. Kuroko slowly.

Kuroko sighed next to him. “That’s what I wanted to tell Kagami-kun. My parents didn’t exactly know about the nature of our relationship. Not until now.”

Taiga was going to kill Kuroko right in front of his parent’s eyes. “But you said-”

“I know, and I apologize for lying. I just thought they would take it better if they met you first and saw for themselves how wonderful you are. I simply wasn’t expecting you to do such a thing. Believe me, I would consider it incredibly romantic, Kagami-kun, weren’t it for the circumstances.”

The silence was deafening, save for the thundering of his heart in his ears, and Taiga couldn’t bring himself to look any of Kuroko’s parents in the eye. He could only desperately clutch at Kuroko’s hand and pray for mercy.

“That would explain a lot,” muttered Mrs. Kuroko suddenly in a tone much calmer than Kagami would have expected. “The sleepovers. The hickeys. The  _phone bills._ ”

“The humming,” offered Mr. Kuroko helpfully.

“You  _hum?_ ” blurted out Kagami, looking straight at Kuroko, unable to stop himself.

“Oh yes,” confirmed Mr. Kuroko. “The song that we danced to at our wedding, nonetheless.”

“Father!” hissed Kuroko, scowling.

His mother chuckled. “We were wondering where the sudden interest in  _that_  video came from…”

“Stop lying,” demanded Kuroko in a clear and steady voice, even though his cheeks were bright red. “The idiot will believe this nonsense.”

Kagami wanted to protest, but Kuroko’s father was faster. He clicked his tongue at Kuroko –  in a way so similar to his son’s that Taiga felt almost uncomfortable – and reached over the table to flick Kuroko on the forehead.

“Don’t call your boyfriend an idiot, it’s unseemly.”

Kuroko puffed out his cheeks and muttered an apology, causing his mother to sigh in despair and Kagami to grab his shoulder.

“Did you hear that?!” he shouted excitedly, a wide grin splitting his face. “Your dad called me your  _boyfriend!_ ”

“Well, of course!” gasped Mrs. Kuroko. “That’s who you are, dear boy!”

Kagami was so relieved he almost cried and it took every last bit of his willpower not to grab Kuroko’s face in his hands and kiss the small smile off his lips.

“Ah, of course,” said Mr. Kuroko’s father. “You wanted a blessing. You have it, of course.”

Kagami almost squealed. “Thank you, sir! I’ll take good care of your son.”

“Of course you will, sweetie,” cooed Kuroko’s mother, raising to her feet. “Now, who’s ready for dessert?!”

Kagami nodded and squeezed Kuroko’s hand harder; he didn’t even mind the fact that both their palms were slippery with sweat.

“Tetsuya, go help your mother, will you?” asked Mr. Kuroko politely.

Kuroko nodded and Taiga reluctantly let go of his hand, slowly realizing he would be left alone with Kuroko’s father. He watched Kuroko leave the dining room and cautiously moved his eyes to the man’s gently smiling face. A chill ran down his spine as he returned the smile awkwardly, fidgeting slightly. It was okay, he had their blessing, he wasn’t going to be murdered and buried in the basement wall.

“I hope there is no need for me to say this but-” started Mr. Kuroko slowly, startling him out of his thoughts, and fixed his impassive eyes in Kagami’s. “No. More. Sleepovers.”

Taiga gulped. Oh. Well.


End file.
